I know all my blogs are about successes. That’s kind of the point. You don’t surf the internet and read blogs to learn how to not do things. Unless, I suppose, it’s to learn how to REALLY not do things. As in, how to do things wrong the proper way: all in. And after all these DIY projects, I definitely have a few of those.
1. Sugar Scrub Bars that turned into murder weapons
The idea was simple enough. Inspired by Lush, I decided to combine brown sugar, salt, and some water and vegetable glycerine (USA / Canada) into a thick paste. Then I would pack the mixture into muffin tins and bake until firm. And then I would have a handy-dandy exfoliating scrub bar.
Everything went pretty well until I started baking at about 200°. After 20 or 30 minutes it didn’t look baked. So I kept baking. For two hours. They looked fine. And then… they didn’t. They turned into bricks… or possibly something even harder than bricks. I bent a knife trying to get them out of the pan. The sugar scrub fused to the muffin liners, and the liners fused to the tin. It took three days of soaking to get the tin to come clean. Oops.
2. Coverup that changed races
This was a good idea. I swear. It was to be a creamy coverup full of healing ingredients. I even wrote up the entire blog entry because I was so sure it would work. I mean, how could it not? Lotion plus oxides for the colourant. Duh. And it did work. I put it in a little tin and everything.
And then I opened it up a week later… and it had gone from “overly pasty white person” to “seductively tanned Italian”. I have no idea how or why.
3. Vitamin C Mask
I recently received a container of Vitamin C in the mail. I couldn’t have been more excited. The product reviews were full of glowing recommendations. One lady said she made a concentrated solution and applied it as a twice daily mask and noticed great results. So, when my vitamin C arrived, the very first thing I wanted to do was make myself a Vitamin C face mask. For the awesomeness, of course.
So, I took half a teaspoon of Vitamin C crystals (they look like white sugar) and mixed them with just enough water to make a paste. And I spread them on my face. It was more or less then that I remembered that Vitamin C has another name—Ascorbic Acid. And they weren’t kidding about the acid part. Vitamin C has a pH around 2.5. OOOOOOH BOY DID THAT BURN. I wiped it off mighty fast and enjoyed a baby smooth complexion after the pain subsided… thanks to having seared the top layers of my face right off. Nicely done, Marie.
4. Overly Enthusiastic Scent Blend Lotion
Last year I discovered NDA and immediately started ordering everything. Many of those things were essential oils. And many of these essential oils were better off as ideas than as tiny little bottles in my pantry… mostly because even though I like the idea of change and variety, when it comes to scents, I tend to stick to what I know I like. Which does not include 50% of the essential oils I own, unfortunately.
Anyhow, I decided to create an exotic scent blend. Sandalwood, rosewood, ylang-ylang, and a variety of other things that the internet said would smell nice together. Either the internet, my nose, or my method was wrong. That lotion smelled like an incense factory exploded next to a rendering plant. Moral of the story: mix first, smell, THEN add to lotion.
5. Gelatin Free Pore Strips
I’ve noticed that a lot of people are looking for these, so I set off to create my own. I swapped out the gelatin for xantham gum. The resulting goop made me look like I had leprosy and did nothing for my pores.
6. Honey Soap
My second batch of soap was a Honeycomb recipe from About.com. My first batch of soap had worked out without a hitch, so I was feeling confident. Unjustly so, it turned out. The first batch turned into something resembling ricotta cheese, and the final soap had a layer of fat on the top and bottom that had separated out. So I tried again. More cheese. Crap. Fortunately I found some friends who loved the stuff, but to this day I have no idea what went wrong. Something to do with the honey, to be sure, but other than that… nada. I even took photos and sent them to the About.com expert. He couldn’t tell me what I’d done wrong either.
7. Tinted Body Bars
This was another idea I lifted from Lush. Again, it seemed simple. A body bar plus micas and oxides and some titanium dioxide for opacity. What could go wrong? Well, it turns out those things don’t like to stay suspended. So they sink. The end result was a double sided bar. One turned me white (the titanium dioxide is oil soluble), and the other one was basically leg lipstick. I was stained reddish brown for days thanks to all the oxides and micas being concentrated in the bottom 3mm of the bar.
I have just discovered your blog and love it, on reading your failures had to smiles at the honey soap, having done similar. Your right, it was the honey. Sugar, be it in milk added to soap, too much honey or molasses too will cause your soap to over heat and end up with what you have. I put all my honey or milk soaps in the fridge to help keep them cool and avoid spoiled soap. 🙂
Thanks, Wendy! Glad to bring a smile to your face with my failures 😛 When I add molasses to soap I always use blackstrap as it has less sugar than fancy… I just have to remember not to heat it up too much, or all the benefit is lost and the batch curdles!
You are human….sorry you had been put on a magga pedal-stool 🙂
Haha 😛 I have just about had enough failures to write another one of these entries 😉
Leg lipstick! Ha!
It was disappointing at the time, but at least it got me on track for actual lipstick, haha 😛
I found this recipe for solid sugar scrubs that doesn’t involve baking and turning into potential murder weapons. LOL
Here’s the link if you are interested:
http://www.naturalbeautyworkshop.com/my_weblog/2009/04/coffee-bean-blends.html
You’ll have to scroll down to find it. It’s somewhere near the end.
Thanks! I always figured it was the baking that was the culprit—and it’s definitely dry enough here that I don’t need evaporation help from an oven!
First, you are a delight, little girl. I searched for honey soap recipe, knowing in my heart, if anyone could do it, you could 😉 I fell sideways on my sofa laughing! You are much to dear to share these “fails!”
Next, let me tell you to look up the word “Glycation”…. I am a licensed Aesthetician in NY and CA. I work in an advanced education facility teaching licensed professionals continuing education protocols.
Glycation is a fancy word for how to rapidly/prematurely age your skin. I know you are good with chemistry and will make the connection.
Sugar loves to latch on to protein (collagen in our skin) and break it down. When you get the party started by turning on the heat, it accelerates the process. Think about searing a piece of meat (protein) in a hot pan. Glycation is favorable then. It’s called caramelization.
Now, think of people who live in arid climates, never getting a break from the sun and it’s rays reflecting off of everything bouncing back up to the skin destroying collagen, and even deeper, elastin. The heat as well as the UV accelerates aging.
Also, I hate to use Gordon Ramsey as an example; but, he has prematurely aged because he spent so many years over a hot stove. You can see the pensive expression he held on his forehead and chin, while over a heat source, day in day out.
Sugar in our body latches on to our collagen, breaks it down, and more so when we are exposed to heat.
Same as your honey bar. It’s glycation. It sort of, prematurely aged 🙁
Congratulations on your 3rd anniversary! I have only recently found you and I am tickled with everything you do! Wonderful work!!
Hi Paige! Thanks so much for your lovely, sweet, and wonderfully informative comment! I have always noticed that those from Down Under often look many years older than their passport declares for the same reasons. Living in Canada has to be good for something, even if people do still think I’m 16 😛
Ahhhhhhh!! I thought I was the only person to make cheese instead of honey soap!! I too, had a friend who loved it anyway…and it did smell good…like sweet honey and…well, bread. Honey bread. Hahaha! I don’t know for sure why it came out more like honey butter than honey soap buuuut, I think it may have just been a touch too much honey. Maybe.
Yay honey soap cheese lol 😛 I think the gist of it is that it gets too hot, which is partially caused by the amount of honey, but a certain amount of heat is required to keep the beeswax liquid… so it’s a bit tricky haha. I still haven’t tried a honey soap again 😛
This article made my day 🙂 I remembered when I just started doing my own lip balm with coconut oil + beeswax, I was so excited that I immediately gave away my first batch to my friends, not knowing that I didn’t put enough beeswax so the lip balms ended up turning liquid because we’re living in a hot tropical country.
Thanks, Melody! I definitely think it’s pretty fun to share failures, and I’ve had some good ones haha 😛 Sounds like yours was a bit messy—oops!
I realise this is an old post but had an enormous giggle over your failures. Such a shame about the tinted body bars – sounds like a fantastic idea. And yes we in Australia tend to age a bit quicker I fear. Especially in humid Queensland where I am from. Unless of course we are using your skin care recipes and staying in air conditioning – hehee! Would love to see another “bloopers” post!
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! 😛 I think my latest bloopers post is probably the one on the curdling body wash, which definitely shows some more determination than these failures/flops were worthy of LOL. These days I’m a bit better at heading off majorly bad ideas before I actually make them thanks to learning experiences like this one, but flops definitely still happen! Some of my shampoo bar experiments could’ve been silly putty LOL.