So, TVP is weird. Can we agree on this? It’s a very odd food-like thing. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it’s texturized vegetable protein. So basically it was soy (more or less… maybe), and then they played around with it until they got something that looks kind of like sharp little bits of brown gravel. And when you pour water on this gravel it rehydrates into something that’s sort of like ground beef. Kind of. Ish.

Anyhow, I happened to have some as a recipe convinced me to buy some. It promised me the best veggie burgers ever. It lied horrendously, and left me with a baggie of TVP to boot. Anyhow, last week I decided I should use it up in a sort of improvised vegetarian bolognese that I have named fauxlognese as I am a sucker for puns. Deal with it.

Now, TVP tastes funny (like dust and bits of bad veggie burger), so the primary concern when cooking with it is to make it taste nothing like itself. For this job I enlisted some good, strong garlic, onion, and lots of Parmigiano Regianno. They were backed up by tomato puree, tomatoes, a good dose of herbs and black pepper, and several glugs of heavy cream.

The final product was great over pasta. Feel free to add more vegetables if you have them, my fridge happened to running low at the time.

Creamy Vegetarian Faux-lognese

1 cup TVP granules, re-hydrated

2 tbsp olive oil (pomace) (USA / Canada)
1 onion, chopped
1–3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp dried thyme
2 bay leaves
½ tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp dried basil

750mL tomato puree
2 tomatoes, roughly chopped

½ cup shredded Parmigiano Regianno
½ cup heavy cream, or to taste

Heat the olive oil (pomace) (USA / Canada) in a heavy bottomed sauce pot over medium heat. Add the onion and sauté until tender. Add the garlic, thyme, bay leaves, pepper, and basil, and cook until fragrant.

Add the tomato puree, tomatoes, and TVP. Heat through and simmer for 10 minutes. Add the cheese and cream. Taste and adjust herbs and seasonings.

Remove the bay leaves and serve with boiled pasta.