Welcome to my annual Things I Learned in post. I usually start working on this post the day the one for the previous year is published—the discussion in the comments is always fantastic and inspires new revelations to share the following year. 2018 was a busy one for me, packed with a ton of travel (eight individual trips, five countries, and 32 flights!), lots of fantastic Humblebee & Me meet ups, and so much learning and experimentation. I attended my first conferences, spoke in four different US states, and met so many wonderful people all over the world. This was my second full year of full-time blogging and I simply cannot express how incredibly grateful I am to all of you for making this possible. Your support helps cover the costs of not only hosting, ingredients, and equipment, but also rent, dog food, groceries, and car insurance. My wonderful patrons get an extra measure of love and appreciation for their ongoing and direct support of Humblebee & Me, but every single one of you who visits, comments, emails, and DIYs with me helps to keep Humblebee & Me online. I appreciate your support, questions, and encouragement so much!
Now, without further blithering, let’s get into those things I learned!
Re-read these annual entries; it’s amazing how many lessons are learned more than once, or revised.
Reduce, reuse, recycle, and REFUSE. Don’t adopt things you don’t need. If you can politely decline a gift (say, a grab bag at a party or a company branded PR item), do. It’s so much easier to never have something in your life than to bring it into your home and find it weeks, months, or years later and have to make decisions about it.
I have a reserve of emotional resiliency, and when it is drained by ongoing stress or sadness I am left much more emotionally vulnerable. I’ll cry at anything vaguely sad. Frustration, anger, stress, and other negative emotions hit so much closer to home—much faster and more easily than they otherwise would. Happier emotions don’t seem as potent.
Moving is never awesome. Do it all in one weekend or do it over a month; it’s never great.
Being kind is a simple thing that pays wonderful dividends, be it opportunities or just the warm glow of a positive human interaction.
Trust, but verify.
I went on 32 flights this year. I think that was probably too many.
Bullying comes in many forms, and it can sometimes be hard to identify.
Your emotional energy is precious. Recognize what drains it and decide if that is worth the price.
I’m not as smart as I sometimes think I am… and sometimes I’m smarter than I think. Either way, I’m often wrong about myself!
British Tetley tea is superior to Canadian Tetley tea.
Few skills are mutually exclusive.
Life is much better when I just focus on being me.
Build the community you want to be part of.
I am nowhere close to my best in the middle of the night. Everything seems 1000x worse and I am unable to talk myself down and recognize that I’m being thoroughly unreasonable.
Embrace the joy of letting go.
I need to make more effort to spend time with my friends in person.
Passion in public can be exhausting. Passion for the sake of publicity will kill your passion.
Feel certain you probably never have the full story.
Be supportive and encouraging.
Meet people where they are.
Use technology to help yourself get things done, but don’t become a slave to it.
My parents sold my childhood home this year, and I can’t believe how much I miss it. I still dream about being there frequently and always wake up with a sad sense of loss.
YouTube trolls be crazy.
Hydration is so important.
I should never travel anywhere without earplugs, a blackout sleeping mask, and my down blanket.
Comfortable shoes > cute shoes.
As I age I find anxiety is a more and more common response to all kinds of different situations. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m more aware of it and have better language to identify and describe it, or if it’s genuinely becoming more common for me. Perhaps it is both.
Carbs are incredible.
I am so very lucky to be able to live my life the way I do.
I need to buy smaller amounts of things. Mostly ingredients.
Patterns are telling. Pay attention.
The world is a much nicer place when you see it as full of potential friends instead of potential threats.
What have you learned this year?
I have learned to go back to making the things I want to and not to be a slave to what others want me to make. I started this journey for pleasure and trying to keep up with people’s demands have made me feel bogged down. My new year will focus on what my creative passion wants and not what others want.
What a fantastic lesson, thank you so much for sharing! I feel I am often balancing between creating things I’m interested in and creating things my readers will be interested in. The worry of the “I can’t get any of these ingredients and your recipes feel inaccessible” complaint weighs heavily on me. I shall endeavour to worry a bit less 🙂 All the best in the new year!
Happy New Year, Marie. I always find your “what I learned” posts enlightening for all of us. What I learned this year (and the prior year) was a) be willing to open my heart to the potential of friendship. I have made a handful of surprising friendships the past couple of years and since moving in June, we have discovered we have amazing, priceless neighbors. b) Even when you try to volunteer help to a community, it is not necessarily going to be welcomed. I simply do not understand how fragile egos can be as to block unconditional help for an economically depressed town. c) That it is a journey to find out what you are to do next (and that what you have always been good at may no longer apply, be applicable, be needed).
Thank you so much for sharing, Ardith—what wonderful lessons. Some of them remind me of some of the challenges my parents have faced after moving to a smaller community in their retirement. I never would’ve guessed volunteering could be so fraught with drama!
The lesson on the potential of friendship is so lovely. I have been making an effort to see examine any knee-jerk “threat” reactions and see through them—more often than not the person is absolutely wonderful and my knee-jerk reaction was, well, a jerk!
Happy New year Marie and all the other bees, what i have learnt this year is trust my instincts, Learn to say no and stick to it, dont be bullied and live my life how i want, making what i want and how I want, Life is short, live it and enjoy but never ever forget about love and family xxx
Thank you so much, Nicole—those are some excellent lessons. I need to work on trusting (and recognizing!) my instincts so I can stop looking back at situations and realizing they could’ve been avoided if I’d paid a bit more attention to my intuition 🙂 Happy creating in 2019!
Happy New Year Marie. Thank you for all of your content! I am so glad that I met you in Seattle for, what turned out to be, an intimate meet & greet. Wish you all the best for the New Year.
Thank you so much, Jill! That was such a lovely evening—thank you so much for being a part of it <3
Happy New Year Marie and Bees, the things i learnt this year are;
Learn to say NO and stick to it,
Live your life how you want to and dont be swayed,
Don’t give in to Bullies,
Trust your gut instinct,
Never forget to love, and say I love You
Always make some “me”time
Never forget family and good friends, especially the animal ones!
Thank you so much, Nicole—those are some excellent lessons. I need to work on trusting (and recognizing!) my instincts so I can stop looking back at situations and realizing they could’ve been avoided if I’d paid a bit more attention to my intuition Happy creating in 2019!
Marie, I started following you this year and have loved your posts so much! I have really enjoyed learning how to make my own lotions and potions and love sharing skincare products with my sisters, friends and daughters. Thanks for what you do, for sharing what you learn, and for spreading the enjoyment of DIY. My engineer son was even impressed when I shared your use of spreadsheets for your formulas. HA! Hope 2019 is a great year for you!!
Thank you so much, Cheryl! I’m delighted to hear you’ve had so much fun making and sharing—that’s exactly why I do this! I can’t wait to hear what you create in 2019—happy making 😀
I do love your year end posts and the game for me of trying to read between your lines 🙂
This has been the most spiritually eye opening year of my life. I thought I had things figured out that are important to have figured out but I don’t. What it is really to love your enemy? To love your neighbor more than yourself? And why? (I know this answer. Finally.) Just not how to do it. What is Grace? And why is it so hard to give it when I accept it greedily? I thought I aced that one, but nope. Back to the drawing board. Its a most important year for me and I feel like I’m close to something.I need to be close to this ‘something.’
Bullying…just read something about that on our Penny’s/Barbs blog. I hate this trend I’m hearing of. This is where that elusive Love Your Enemy, comes in. Good luck, its so hard and shouldn’t be but it is.
My sister was a bully and it can leave scars that never go away. Do people really want to scar others? Don’t they know what a scar is? Do they want to take their last breaths on earth with a truckload of scarred souls they’ve left behind, cause if they do, be prepared.It will not have been worth it.
Thanks for sharing, Cristie <3 You're right—loving your neighbour and loving your enemy is SO. Dang. Hard. It’s easy to think it would be simple if everyone would just behave and be lovable, LOL. Thank you so much for your support this year—it is hugely appreciated!
– Toxic people can pass unnoticed for a very long time. Maybe is someone so socially competent that only you have noticed his/her true nature. But even if you will be seen as the bad one, you need to keep distance from that person, no matter what.
– Be the friend and partner you would like to have.
– If someone wronged you terribly, but is not sorry about it, wave your friendship goodbye and move on, without feeling guilty.
– You don’t know who could be an amazing new friend, so open up to new people.
– In your life you should go first, or you will be bitter till the end of your days.
– Nobody is forced to like and love you, even if they are family. Neither you are.
– Don’t compare to others. You only know about a very tiny part of their lifes.
– Even the coolest of people is probably struggling about something. If they aren’t,they have probably work their asses off to get where they are.
– They people that love you want to hear about your problems and struggles, because they care the same way you care about them.
– Arguing with stupid people on the internet is a complete waste of time and energy.
– You never will be 100% ready. Just try your best.
(I love you end-of-the-year list. I might do it too for next year!)
(Also, who the hell can troll such a nice person as you??)
Thank you so much for these incredibly valuable insights, Belén. A few of those speak to me so profoundly I wonder if you’ve been reading my diary 😛
I love, love LOVE this post and look forward to it every year. Thank you for all that you do throughout the year Marie, I have learned so much from you.
Thank you so much, Lorraine! I’ve already started next year’s post 😛
Wow Marie, awesome and on point as usual. Reading through the comments it seems as though many are having some sort of spiritual awakening in their lives. I am as well. I can especially relate to your bit about being emotionally drained and Christie’s bit about finally understanding what loving your neighbor as yourself and other things similar. …I too am adjusting to big changes as this is the first holiday season my husband and I are totally alone. My daughters have moved and son has my father. Sometimes I am filled with overwhelming, crushing sadness and not sure what to do with myself. Other times I relish this time with my husband and take a deep breath of relax and calm…not the norm when tons of family is around for the holidays. I made lye soap for the first time this year. I am doing my best to rise above politics, social media, religion and all things which distract us from becoming and doing all God wants us to. The journey is lonely at times because so few understand if they are still obsessed with those things. Thank you so much Marie for all you do for us, I look forward to each post. I will try to become a patron in the new year. When you feel anxiety as I often do, stop and take a deep calming breath and close your eyes for a moment. Once you have quiet time, try to figure out what is was that triggered it. Most importantly what were you thinking about at that moment? Patterns will emerge and you will have your personal answer. Then the anxiety melts away. You are awesome, happy new year
Thank you so much for sharing, Lin <3 I really appreciate your thoughts on anxiety; my issue isn't usually an unknown trigger, but lacking the distance and serenity to set the worry aside and move past it. I will be working on that in the coming year! And AMEN to rising above and focussing on all we can be rather than wading around in the mud that can be modern life!
I can't wait to see what you create in 2019 🙂 Thanks for DIYing with me!
Wow! Love this post and all the insightful comments as well. Thank you, Marie, for all that you do to keep this amazing website and community going. Your statement: Build the community you want to be part of” particularly strikes me at the moment since I’m working on launching a lifestyle website of my own as a creative outlet. It’s a semi-retirement project that stokes my passion. What else have I learned this year? That I’m resilient! We moved seven months ago from the only area I had lived in for 60+ years, so there was lots of fear and trepidation. But it was the best decision we could have made. If you let fear of the unknown rule your decisions, you might miss out on the next best chapter of your life. Don’t let your past dictate your future. Happy New Year to you, Marie!
Thank you so much, Lucie—truly. I cannot imagine the trepidation that would come with a move after over 60 years, and the fact that you went through with it and it sounds like you are thriving—you’re a champion. Excellent lessons, thank you so much for sharing!
Love, love, love this. This is my first year of being a “bee” and am the first end of year post for me. I especially love the “build the community you want to be a part of”. I have so thoroughly enjoyed looking forward to Tuesday’s and Friday’s (I am in Australia so get things a day later).
I feel a little proud to be a patron and support your incredible gift and skills. Looking forward to 2019. And yes carbs are wonderful – especially pasta!
Thank you so much, Laurie! I really appreciate all your feedback on the things you make—thank you so much for taking the time to share your experiences! And a huge thank you for all your support, it is massively appreciated 🙂 All the best in 2019!
Marie, you’re my favorite blogger. I look forward to your newsletters every day and have learned a great deal from your posts. My favorite is the end of year post and what you have learned from the year. Thank you for being intimate with your readers and sharing your personal lessons and feelings.
I hope 2019 will bring you an abundance of good health, money in your banking account, friends to enjoy life with, days filled with happiness and emotional strength to get you through the bad moments.
Thank you so much, Cheryl—your comment has made my heart swell and put a huge smile on my face 🙂 All the best for 2019!
everything on that list hits home. beautiful insights (and photos!). thanks for sharing! love your site!!
Thank you so much, Terry!
“Normal people” don’t have the energy to so all the things I often do in a day off. Since I have two chronic diseases I often think others have an unlimited amount of energy and therefore I should be able to do more, which often leads to me doing twice as much as a “normal person”. I’m working om letting myself feel tired and in not feeling bad for an hour or two on the sofa.
What a great realization—I also struggle to even out my definition of productivity with that of other people. I’m trying to remember to take the time to unwind, but sometimes also finding I don’t think I remember how to anymore.
Happy New Year Marie,
Thank you for all your great blog posts, youtubes, beautiful photography, and your wonderfully engaging self. I really appreciate all your hard work in front of the camera and online. I look forward to what you will share with us in 2019.
Happy New Year, and thank you! <3
I love this post so much! I am so glad that I have found your blog. I really enjoy your creative ideas, dyi projects and your posts just like this! I actually have learned from what you have learned and want to apply some of these things into my life for 2019!
Thank you so much, LeeAnn 🙂 All the best for 2019!
This was so unexpectedly lovely. I love the last thought, and it’s so important for keeping being on the internet positive. Seems very in keeping with the gold old days of AOL, etc, which–and this may be colored by nostalgia but–I remember being a lot more fun.
I got into DIY skincare in pursuit of going low waste, so I loved your first ‘lesson’ here, especially re: reducing and reusing. Of course the amount of plastic under my kitchen sink full of various waxes and tiny amounts of hydrogenated etceteras sort of derailed that, but what can ya do! At least I can fill my own tins and paperboard now, and it’s incredibly stress relieving and satisfying, unlike accidentally spending $96 on skincare at CVS because I went in for face wipes 😀 Ditto on not trying to do too much in the middle of the night, though–a little wasted ingredient can definitely feel like the end of the world at 2am. So not worth it!
Love your site, and thanks you for being such a great source of information and attitude. Have a wonderful new year!!!
Thank you, Cathy! I remember those old days of AIM and MSN—I had a good handful of online-only friends that I’d IM with for hours (or until somebody needed to make a phone call at my house LOL). Things definitely had more of a small-town feel back then.
I am not at all convinced DIY is inherently a low waste pursuit, but I do think there is plenty of room there to turn something that used to be a buying thing into a joyful making thing, and I think that has a lot of merit. It also empowers us to make our own decisions about the sorts of waste we will create—it might be higher in some areas, but we can dramatically lower it in others.
I look forward to hearing about what you create in 2019!
Hello Marie,
Thank you for your words, they are authentic, simple and beautiful just like you are. I also have a lot to be thankful for this year, way too much to sum up here. But what I think is relevant is that I plunged into DIY with you to recover from the loss of my mother 3 months ago. All the scents and smells really helped me get through it all. Last week I got your book as a Christmas present from my kids and was so happy. So once again Marie, thank you for what you are doing, keep being yourself, it makes you simply beautiful. <3
And now I'm off to try some of your recipe! Happy 2019 from Belgium to you.
Sincerely,
Sylvie
Thank you so much, Sylvie 🙂 I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother <3 May creating continue to bring you any joy and comfort it can—I look forward to hearing about what you make in the new year!
Very insightful.
I agree, 32 flights is probably too many for one year.
Refuse is probably to best advice from this article. I attend many professional conferences yearly and always come home with bags of “freebies.” Generally everything except pens goes in the trash. What a waste of resources! I vow to bring nothing home
Where is the lake with the canoes? I think I have to go there.
32 ended up becoming 33 somewhat unexpectedly and, yeah… that’s not a record I will be trying to beat anytime soon!
I’ve got a couple conferences coming up next year and I really need to constantly remind myself to refuse. Flying home afterwards definitely serves to limit what comes home with me, but I still feel bad leaving a collection of unwanted mugs and heavily branded notepads in my hotel room :/
The lake is the world famous Moraine Lake in Banff National Park here in Alberta 🙂 It’s become increasingly popular in recent years so plan to arrive around early or quite late if you want to get in. It is stunning, though!
I have been following your blog for about 4 years now. This is a hobby that really caught me by surprise because most of my life I was not the kind of girl that ever bought or used a lot of these types of products. I am still a low maintenance girl who never wears makeup and has a minimal skin care routine, but I am in love with this hobby. I love learning about the natural remedies for common skin issues. You do a great service of providing a high quality resource for other DYIers. There are so many people out there with blogs, sharing bad recipes they got from another blog, and clearly haven’t done any real research about what is actually good for your skin. I still struggle with having wish lists for new ingredients a mile long and figuring out what I want to give up in order to make room for the new ones. If we ever move, the new home will have to have a workshop for my DYIs.
Thank you so much, Mandy! When I started this I really wasn’t that interest in makeup or extensive skin care routines, either, but that’s definitely changed a bit over the years 😛 I’m still pretty low maintenance (most days are spent bare face in PJs writing and replying to blog comments, ha), but I do love makeup a lot more than I used to!
I really appreciate all your questions, your feedback, and sharing! I love hearing about your variations, creations, and experiments—I’ve learned a lot vicariously through you 🙂 I can’t wait to see what we create in 2019!
Love this post every year, Marie. You touch on so many things we share in common.
Best wishes for a wonderful 2019.
Thanks so much, Cheryl! Thanks for helping me learn some things about mineral makeup this year, too… even if I’m still not sure exactly what those things are LOL! All the best for 2019 🙂
“Embrace the joy of letting go”.
You got that damn right lady! This is one lesson I am still trying to wrap my head around. I’m pretty good getting over troubling or difficult circumstances, but I suck at letting go of the resentment I feel towards those who have tried to crush me.
And that is something I cannot seem to get over. And that is something I seriously need to learn.
“Build the community you want to be a part of”. TRUE! VERY TRUE!
I adore these year end posts of yours! They provide so much to think about. I’d never have gotten where I am today if it weren’t for you if I am honest. You provided me with such crazy inspiration and some awesome personal competition! You made me push my level of comfort and explore new ways of doing things, and gracious. How I’ve improved and pushed myself because of you.
I say it to you in so many comments, and in a number of posts, but thank you.
Oh my goodness, I feel you on “getting over” vs “letting go”. They are not the same thing! I can usually move past things to the point of the thing not really impacting my day-to-day life, but the letting go bit is HARD. It can sometimes start to feel like part of who I am, and I don’t want that to happen!
I’m so thrilled I’ve been able to play a part in your formulation journey, however small. You have also encouraged me so much, and pushed me to learn and try so many things! Your feedback on my recipes (and experiments with!) have taught me so much and made me a better formulator. And it was SO lovely to meet you in Dublin and have some fantastic DIY chat and pints in the coziest, most Irish bar ever 😀 I can’t wait to see what we create in 2019!
What a wonderful list of lessons, including the comments. I learned not to set too many goals for the year. Setting goals is good and for me important, but too many makes for stress.
Thank you so much, Tamalita 🙂 I definitely agree about the goals—some are good, but overwhelming yourself with self-improved pressure is not a good idea.
I understand the conclusion to need to buy things in smaller quantities! Me too!
It is definitely the best idea in my world… but also… so hard 😐