Go home, winter. No one likes you. You weren’t invited to this party. You look fat in those pants and you smell funny. GO AWAY.

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Ok, well, that didn’t work. Crap. Winter’s still here, my feet are still cold, and I’m still dreaming about escaping to a beach in Australia. I’ve been dealing with winter for most of my life (minus that one time I skipped most of it by going to Australia), and I’ve developed a few coping mechanisms.

Long underwear. Under everything.
I like merino wool. Mostly Icebreaker and Smartwool. I wear it under everything, jeans included (I heave different weights for different levels of frigid). I sleep in it. It really helps, especially when worn under jeans.

Space Heaters
So, so necessary for chilly rooms. Especially when you’re female and everyone controlling the thermostat is a manopausal dude.

Humidifier
Winter air is so dry that I wake up in the middle of the night, parched. My face is tight, my skin itches, and it just stinks. A humidifier helps.

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Lotion, Body Butter, and Lip Balm—Everywhere
I have so many of these things on the go. In my purse, in my desk (at home and at work), my bedside table, my pocket—everywhere. They are 100% necessary. Save some money and make your own.

Argan oil
For your face. You’ll love it.

Tea
Hydration and warmth, what more could you want?

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An Electric Heating Pad
I got mine from my Grandmother, and it’s wonderful. It heats up my chilly bed before I go to sleep, and keeps me warm all night long. I just wish it was bigger than a placemat, so that brings me to…

An Electric Heated Mattress PadThis thing is pure joy on cold nights. It ensures your entire bed is always that wonderful luxurious warm that it is when you don’t want to get up in the morning. Bliss.

Draught Stoppers
If your house is 100 years old like mine is, you’ll want a few of these for windowsills and cracks under doors.

Flannel Sheets, or better yet, Fleece Sheets
It’s like sleeping wrapped in your bathrobe. What more could you want from life?

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